He Thinks That I Don't Know
by Brulian4ever
Summary: Peyton Centric. Peyton's POV. Lucas thinks that Peyton doesn't know what he's up to. This is my first real attempt at writing Peyton so please tell me what you think. Angst/Hurt/Comfort. Leyton with Breyton and Brucas.


He thinks that I don't know. But he's wrong. I know what he's doing when he locks himself in his den at night. I know that when he shuts himself away from world, he's looking at old pictures of her. I know that his blue eyes fill with tears as he remembers her smile, her laugh, the sound of her voice. I know that every night while he's sleeping next to me, he's dreaming about her and I know that every time he kisses me, it's her that he's thinking of. I try not to be jealous because I know that in the end he married me and that she can't take him away from me. But it still hurts, knowing that she'll always have a piece of him that I can never touch.

I'm already in bed when he steals into the bedroom. It's late and I don't have to ask him where he was. If he's coming home this late, there's only one place he could have been. I feel him get into bed next to me and I roll over to face him. "I'm glad your home." I whisper and I hear him sigh before responding.

"I'm really tired. I need to get some sleep." He turns away from me, signalling that the conversation is over. I stare at his back in the dim light for a moment before turning over and closing my eyes, praying for sleep to overtake me. His side of the bed is empty when I wake the next morning. I shower, dress and slowly make my way into the kitchen to find him making coffee. He hands me a mug without speaking. I sip it and watch him, waiting for the apology that always comes after nights like the previous. "I'm sorry about last night." He murmurs as he glances at me over his coffee cup. "I was just having a bad day."

"It's OK." I follow the script as well. "It happens I understand." I finish my coffee and stand up. "I have some errands to run. I'll be home later." I wait for a moment, hoping he'll stand and kiss me goodbye. When he doesn't, I turn and head out the front door. I sit in my car for a moment before I realize where I need to go. I start driving and arrive at my destination. I take a deep breath as I slowly get out of my car. I haven't been here in so long that I'm not really sure what to do. I stop when I see the flowers. Lilacs, her favourite, I know they're from him. I stare at them for a long moment before I begin to speak. "I don't really know exactly what I'm doing here." I force back the tears in my eyes. "I'm pretty sure Lucas would kill me if he found out but…." I pause and take a deep breathe. "I'm at my wits end. I love him so much but I can't get through to him." I sniffle and brush the tears from my eyes. "I know that he's been to see you… and as much as I wanted to deny it, I know now that I can't compete with you... or at least your memory." I reach over and gently brush the snow from the stone in front of me.

**Brooke Penelope Davis**

**1986-2011**

**Beloved Friend & Godmother**

**People Who Are Meant To Be **

**Always Find Their Way Back To Each Other In The End**

"I miss you Brooke…" I slowly sit down on a bench and pause for a moment. "…and I hate you all at the same time. I miss my best friend so much but I hate you for dying… and then I feel guilty because I know how selfish that sounds." I shake my head with a heavy sigh. "I hate that he misses you so much…" I stare at her name for a long time before looking down at my hands. "…and I hate myself for hating that. But the truth is I lost him the day we lost you. Part of him died with you and there's nothing I can do to bring back the Lucas Scott that we both fell in love with."

"Peyton…" I look up at the sound of my name and freeze when I see Lucas standing a few feet away. "What are you doing here?" His blue eyes are cold as he looks me and I shiver as I stand up to face him.

"I just needed to talk to Brooke." I say after a moment and he looks at me sceptically. "OK, the truth is I needed to get some stuff off my chest and I needed to see what it is about this place that draws you in so much."

"You shouldn't have come here Peyton." He says finally and I stare at him in disbelief, searching his eyes, trying to find a glimmer of the man I married.

"She was my best friend, Luke." I glare at him defiantly. "I have every right to be here."

"I'm sorry Peyton…" Lucas sighs and slowly sits down on the bench I was just occupying. "I wish that I could get past this." He looks up at me helplessly. "I wish I could let her go but I can't." Tears fill his blue eyes. "I miss her so much that it hurts just to breath." He drops his head into his hands.

"Luke…" I slowly sit down next to him. "I miss her too. But we have to move on with our lives. _You _have to move on with your life. Brooke wouldn't want you to live like this." I pause for a moment and slowly turn his face toward me. "She loved you too much."

"I'm sorry Peyton…" Lucas says after a long moment. "I know that this isn't how you want to live your life, with a husband who can't let go of his dead ex-girlfriend, but I don't think I can give you the life that you deserve. You deserve someone who can love you completely and I don't think I can do that." He pauses for a moment and gently brushes my blonde hair from my face. "It's not that I don't love you Peyton, because I do but…" Lucas pauses and I feel my heart break in my chest because I already know what he's going to say. "I love her too and I'm just not ready to say goodbye to her yet." He looks away from me and I'm quiet for a long time as I watch him. He's so consumed in his grief that he doesn't even look like the man I married and it's in that moment that I realize this is end of us. Because he's right... this isn't the life that I want to lead and he isn't able to let go of her. I take a moment to compose myself and slowly stand up.

"Good bye Lucas." I whisper, but he doesn't even hear me. His eyes are fixed on Brooke's headstone. Tears fill my eyes as I look at him one last time before turning and walking away from the only man I've ever truly loved. It hurts that after all of our years together he doesn't even notice me walking out of his life but I guess I understand because I may be walking away from the love of my life but he's with his.

The End

**A/N** **- I don't know if the dates are right for Brooke's grave but I figured 1986 would be around the time they were born. If someone knows the exact year, please let me know so I can adjust. Also, this is the first time I've ever tried to write from Peyton's POV (and somehow it still ends up being about Brooke... I swear I don't mean for that to happen) but Peyton/Leyton fans, let me know how I did. Even if you don't like the story, let me know if you think I've captured Peyton. Also, this is a one shot for now, but I've been thinking about continuing it. Let me know if you think I should.**


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